Roommate Love Stories are simple, yet awkward. Normal, yet so.. so strange. It’s simple: you submit your roommate love story, and then it shows up here. Also, we change the names in your story to handpicked names found in the Old Testament. Good idea right? We thought so too. Anyway, click here to submit your story and enjoy the love stories below:

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Submitted by: Jonah

So me and my two roommates went to lunch at Penland with some friends, and we are all cracking jokes about Samson (one of the guys at the table who was a bit on the different side of things). Then out of nowhere he said, “Don’t think I don’t know how to fight, I killed an army of people.” After a few moments of stunned silence we changed the subject. This guy was crazy enough that we believed him. I began my first semester at Baylor with this event, and it has haunted me since.

Submitted by: Amasa

My roommate, Joab, and I were going to a dinner to meet up with some girls we had yet to meet (some other friends had set us up on a blind date). When we got there, the girls we were supposed to meet had about 20 other guys surrounding them. Joab and I were deeply saddened and there was a weeping and gnashing of teeth. But! The spirit moved in Joab and by using that Fazoli’s gift card he got for Christmas to get some food, we basically went on a date. He paid. :D (He still says I owe him 7 bucks.)

Submitted by: Mordecai

My roommate, Phinehas, is a big guy about 6’5″, 290. When he picks on people you would think he would just sit on his victims, but the other day Phinehas decided it would be fun to start pelting me with Smarties (the candy). These little harden pieces of powdered sugar kinda hurt if they get you just right and at the right velocity. He was throwing them – like Will Ferrell in Elf. Hard. I ducked for cover, and after a few more whizzed by my head there was dead silence. He had hit my laptop screen, cracked it, and caused half of the screen to not be visible. Needless to say he paid for it. And I think he cried a little when he gave me the money.

Submitted by: Belshazzar

The other day, I came back from class early because my professor let us out. When I came back I found my roommate Jehoiada lying on the floor face first. He was chanting something peculiar and was so into what it was that he was doing that he did not notice I had entered the room. This was unfortunate for me, however, as suddenly he jumped up and plowed me over on the way to his computer. After a few swift clicks of the mouse and pressing of several specific keys in an organized fashion, I noticed that my roommate had just defeated some goddess on WOW. Jehoiada explained it to me later, “Well one time I got so nervous that I laid down and prayed for a while before I entered battle, so now I have to prepare myself each and every time. It’s a ritual. I have to appease the gods.” – Just one more semester… one more.

Submitted by: Cain

Last Wednesday the CL on my hall decided to give my roommate Abel the title “resident of the week” when clearly I deserved it. I tried to offer a gift to our CL in order to win, but he refused my offering and accepted Abel’s instead. Devastated, I took him out to the Intramural fields and rose up against him and all but murdered him. Alright, I did it.. I killed him. But can’t you understand why?