Hopefully yesterday’s post was satisfyingly representative of our female populace here at Baylor. For you guys, in case you haven’t brushed up on your satire recently, here’s a list of things that Generic Baylor Guys (no, not a generalized version of us) think that Baylor girls like:

1. Guys running shirtless in front of Collins.

One can drive to Common Grounds, order, and leave and somehow see the same shirtless guy run in front of Collins three times. Either, he is setting Bear Trail records and should be in the Olympics, or he is turning around over and over to meet his quota of “girls passed while showing off my body.”

2. Artsy Hipsters

Sure, if you weigh 90 pounds and can pull of skinny jeans and a beanie in the spring, be my guest. However, some guys are under the impression that the more frayed ends they have on their clothes, the better. “If I can pull-off a v-neck that shows way more than anyone wants to see, the girls will notice me.” They sure will, buddy…they sure will.

3. Classroom comedians

At the heart of every joke a GBGuy makes in public, especially in the classroom, is the hope of impressing a girl. Unless you are certain of your comedic abilities, and by that I mean you have made Robin Williams laugh till he cried, it’s probably a good idea to keep your wit to yourself. Top three most common outcomes of cracking jokes in class: 1) Teacher thinks the joke/you are dumb. 2) Entire class roles their eyes. 3) All of the above.

4. Walking past the elliptical machines in the SLC pretending not to notice the sorority girls but being almost positive they are noticing nothing but your biceps.

…Enough said.

By no means is this list exhaustive, but rather its a mere scratching of the surface of the thought process and subsequent theatrics that occur everyday in the GBGuy population.

Personal experience may or may not have played a role in the formulation of this list.

Cordially,

Guy #8