So, I’m sure some of you have been wondering where the heck we’ve been since school started. Well, to tell you the truth (I know, a novel idea), besides fighting crime, we’ve frankly been doing nothing. Now, I bet you’re asking yourself, “Self, I wonder why those BaylorGuys haven’t been posting if they haven’t had anything to do?”

For you veteran readers, the above question should scream “paradox.” Why on earth would we actually spend our free time doing this!? We provide this service as a procrastination tool not just for you guys, our readership, but for us as well! So, now that we’ve moved past the week of going over syllabi and taking that random pop quiz that your professor is trying to scare you with, we can get back to it. Because, now, we have real work to put off to write for you guys, and you guys have real work that you can put off to read our crap.

Baylorites, enjoy this semester; you’ll never get it back!

Side note: why do people say that? Is there ever an event or moment in a linear time model that we do “get back?” It just seems unnecessary to point out the obvious.

Anyway, please do enjoy yourselves! We can’t promise a post everyday, and for that horrific transgression, we apologize. We’ll do our best to give you ample material to waste time with.

Au Revoir,

Guy # 8

P.S. I actually did think of a way that you could, in a sense, get this semester back: fail all your classes. So, don’t let your fear of the unknown get the best of you and pass those suckers.